I’m Back!

Taking Flight 30″x30″

So here I go! What can I say, my last post was November 2015… Seems like this is the year to finish all things from 2015. Just finished a canvas that I started May of 2015, Taking Flight, it was the last canvas I had in my studio waiting to be finished that was not from this year. As I was finishing it, the idea of coming back to this blog kept on popping into my thoughts. A thought that I was surprised with at first but then it made total sense. For the past few weeks my creativity woke back up, my desire to paint, my craving to create and express with no fear awoken. For too long I let fear take over, I let fear rule, well no longer. No Longer I say! Fear of what you might ask… Fear that I used up all of my creativity, fear that I can no longer paint anything halfway decent, fear of being a hack, fear of disappointing, oh the fear, fear comes in so many faces and forms. Its crazy how when you give it the power it has such strength. But for some reason, I forgot about that fear, it didn’t even come to mind and I just started painting again. My creative self called to me, its been whispering, its been reminding, its been lurking, it began to yell, scream, shout. Years with the hints of wanting to create, and in that time I beat myself up so much for not painting, for not creating. So I had a dry spell… A LONG dry spell but you know what, it taught me what other things fill my soul, what else do I love to do, what else fills my well, for it showed me that we are not one demential beings, we have many dimensions, we don’t just like 1 thing, there is not just 1 thing that makes us happy, its many things and the more whole we are, the more we learn about ourselves and explore, the happier we are… Hiking was a huge one. I started driving up to the north GA mountains and would just hike, inhale, take in, absorb all of the natural beauty, the natural energy all around me, in the cold and warm. What else… well I became a cycle instructor… yes! My love for health and the amazing aspects of the body and playing with how far can you take yourself when you have that drive. So with the hiking, I was able to fill my soul with no fear, teaching… well that was a different kind of vulnerability and took me some time to get my footing but now… its one of the best things I have done. My little introvert self, going in front of a room full of people wanting me to kick their butts… and I do. I notice myself smiling when I have a full class and I can feel that energy, I can see and feel them busting their butts and I’m there right along with them. Its such a high. It has helped me open up, it has helped me come into myself more. The hiking, helped me with absorbing the beauty around me. So with all that, I filled my well, enough to start painting. Enough to feel like I can give myself again. For painting is a true act of giving of ones self. At least for me it is. Every piece has a piece of me in it, a piece of who I am and what I believe in. So with all that being said, I’m not going to put ridiculous timelines on myself with this blog, I’m not going to feel like I need to schedule and control it. I’m going to write when I feel the calling. An organic approach for it seems like no matter how much I try to schedule and structure my life, and think that is what I need, I seem to thrive on living in the moment and following what my heart desires at that moment. Until next time, I’d love for you to sit and think about all of the different ways you can fill your soul. I know there is more than one and if you can’t think of any, well then its time to start exploring and playing. Aho



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