Some of you have heard of morning pages, Its where you write 3 pages of anything that pops into you mind. Its a stream of consciousness writing. It’s done first thing in the morning. It give you clarity on problems or situations, it helps you figure things out and its for your eyes only. This concept comes from Julia Cameron and its in her book The Artist Way. You can find more about this by clicking here.
Well I made up my own term and practice and its helping me cope with my divorce. I do evening pages. I do write in my journal in the morning and I find it very helpful but I have found at the end of the day when I am tired my evening pages help me alot. It’s a black painted journal that I transformed. It helps me clear my mind about my divorce. I have now been officially divorced for 2 months. I guess I could call it my divorce pages but no, I like the sound of evening pages. I write in it every night, thoughts, feelings, a lot of feelings, ranting and also trying to figure out how to move on. In the beginning when I started writing in it I was very angry, I can’t even read it my emotions were so raw. Lots of shouting, cussing, blaming and hatred. “Why did he do this to us, to his family, how can you throw it away, we spent 20 years together growing together forming a life together to what… throw it all away? I got no closure and that part kills me” And I can say that was the nice version. Anyway I forgot to do it last night and I went to bed with all of these negative thoughts in my head. Kept me up for a while. Tonight I am back on track writing in my journal. One thing I have noticed, I am not playing the blame game as much, now I am trying to figure out how to move on, how to not be angry, how to live my life in peace and happiness, not hatred. I feel like I have come a long way. When this journal is complete I am going to burn it with close friends of mine. To release it all into the universe. I am done with these feelings and I am ready to move on.
Rising From the Darkness
I felt this piece compliments my post beautifully. This piece represents me rising from all this, from this divorce, rising strong. Aho.