Monthly Archives: May 2015

Welcome to my Studio

This week I feel like I made a big step towards my dream of sharing my love of art. I purchased a camcorder to record me painting, so I can share my process in my e-course. My goal is to time lapse me painting a piece from start to finish. How exciting! As you might know my ex husband is in the motion picture industry so video taping is right up his ally. Something I have no experience with. Something he always took care of. So here I am trying to figure out what camera would be good for me, what supplies I need and how do I actually do this! HA! I have not figure it all out yet but I did get a camcorder, batteries, memory card and a tripod. I am now trying to see if I have enough room behind me to actually have a tripod! I may need to make a shelf to put the camera on. We shall see. I need to do test shots to see what I have to work with space wise.

I am sitting here looking at what I have set up, looking at my studio, looking at where I was and were I am heading. Getting this camcorder was a big step for me. It was like I was telling the universe, here I am, I am doing this, no looking back now! And what do I feel? Excitement!  Every step of this journey so far has been filled with such excitement and fear. One minute I am so excited for what is to be and then the next I am so scared, what am I doing? What am I getting myself into? I don’t know what I am doing, I don’t know how to do this. Even with those thoughts I still have big plans for the future. Workshops, live classes, traveling the possibilities are endless really. So much hope. Hope… funny, that was the word I picked in January for this year.

So I leave you with photos of my studio, of my world, a world I live in everyday and one that I love. Where as my girls like to say… Where Magic Happens… I agree.

Welcome to my Studio…IMG_6589

 

My home.IMG_6584

Where the magic happens.

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The most Amazing Bean Bag!!! I have had many naps here. 🙂

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My Desk.

IMG_6585My Alter.

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Fear

So here I am, working on my e-course, making great progress. I decided on a name; Painting from the Soul, I’m settling on a launch date, not ready to share that yet. And I have a backbone figured out, ready to fill in the blanks. I’m ready to continue on to the next step of the process and what do I do… I stop. I find myself getting into old habits of staying busy with stuff that really does need to get done but I’m not carving out time to work on my course. This morning I asked myself, Why? Why am I doing this? And you know what I came up with… Fear of course.

What is this fear? I decided to look it up to get a better understanding.

Fear: An emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger. An anxious feeling. Be afraid or feel anxious about a possible or probable situation or event. Be afraid or scared of; be frightened of. Be uneasy or apprehensive about.

Okay, I am not in any pain or danger, the situation is not dangerous, I am not frightened, but yes I am a bit anxious and scared. But why? This fear is not helping me in any way. I am getting in my own way really. All I need to do is dive in and once I am in, things will flow and all will be alright. What am I afraid of? What is making me feel anxious? The fear of not being able to pull it off, of failure, of letting people down or letting myself down, of having the course flop and no one liking it, not being able to get across what I am striving to, oh the list goes on and on. So what if I fail, what if it flops, what if all that happens? What would be the worst thing that would happen to me? That I learn something? I look foolish? I disappoint others (who are these people that I am disappointing?), I disappoint myself…but how can I disappoint myself if I do my best and put all that I am into it? And then there is this question… What if I don’t fail? What happens then? I will have grown, I will feel a sense of confidence, accomplishment, a feeling of being proud, happy, you get the picture. Well why can’t you feel all of those things if you fail? I should be proud that I have done it. I did what I set my heart out to do and I will have grown from it. Learned many things like how to do it and what to do and not to do. I should feel accomplished that I pulled it off, that I did it. Not even trying is worse. In a way you fail by not trying. You let yourself down and all the others that would of benefited from the course. So when you think about it, not doing it is the failure. Doing it, no matter what the outcome, is the success. I like that. I like how that feels. I will keep you updated and let you know how it goes, what the next part of this journey looks like. But for now I leave you with this question, what is your fear preventing you from doing? What is the worst that can happen. I challenge you to do it anyway, like I shall do, and let me know how it goes. I would love to hear from you. xoxo

 

I shall leave you with some progress shots of the 2 pieces I started working on a couple of weeks back. These are the second layers.

 

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Exciting Times

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Its the end of the school year for my girls, 2 more weeks left! They are bouncing off the walls with excitement and counting down the hours. We are engulfed in end of year projects, class trips, field days and parties. How exciting this time of year is for a child. There are certain times of the year that make you sit back and think, wow, where did the time go. New Years being one of them but the last day of school is another one. Its the ending of many things and then you get the lull of summer and then comes August (the south starts school early) which brings a bunch of new beginnings.

It makes me sit back and look at what I have been up to, what is ending for me and what is on my horizon. What has ended for me was this awful darkness that was engulfing me at the new year. I have said goodbye to what was and hello to what is. I am so happy to say that life is so much brighter today than it was 4-5 months ago.

So the fun stuff, what am I saying hello to, what is on my horizon, what have I been thinking on and working on. I recently put together a document that lists my 5 techniques that helps me be inspired.  I put it all together for you and you can get it for Free by subscribing to my blog. How cool is that! I really enjoyed putting it together and love the idea of being able to share it and help you in any situation of getting unstuck.

Then with the courses I have been taking this year I am so happy to say that I am in the beginning stages of putting together my own e-course!! Squeeeeeee!!! I am so excited about it and I am currently working out the details, nuts and bolts and all that jazz. I have been asked many times, especially when I am doing an art fair, if I teach. I would immediately say no, not me, I’m not a teacher but something inside of me, very quietly, would say, Yes you are. That voice has been getting louder and louder and I had to finally say, OK to that voice and jump in, see what happens and go with it. I am at the very beginning stages, I have so much I want to teach and I need to narrow it down and get to the heart of my first class. My goal is to expand it and do live courses too but I’m getting ahead of myself. LOL, My introverted self thought an e-course would be a good way to start.

I shall end this post with this question, what are you leaving behind and starting. I think its great to think on this more than once a year. Please share with me, I would love to hear from you!! Love to you all. xoxox

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