Monthly Archives: April 2015

Morning Pages Surprise

Every morning I do my morning pages, I get up before my kids and journal. You can learn more about Morning Pages in the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Today I was surprised at what came out…

“As I open this journal today and feel the blank page before me, it reminds me of the day that is ahead of my. A blank slate, a new beginning, the possibilities ahead. Today I want to live my life with a child’s eye, with curiosity, exploration and love to fill the world with. Today I shall kick fear, acknowledge it, not give it the power it needs to thrive. I will paint, I will explore, I will look at life with a child’s enthusiasm for each new experience to come my way. I shall paint, to break that fast, to break that dry spell, to look at the break with love and kindness and know I needed it to heal. To give that silent time, compassion and love. Knowing we all have lessons to learn and one that I am to learn is compassion for myself, compassion for the time I needed to heal and not create but to explore other avenues in my life. This blank page gives me hope and excites me like a blank canvas. What colors shall I use today, what area in my life will I exercise letting go? How will I share this overwhelming feeling of love that I am feeling right now, who will I inspire, help or just be there for? Yes, Today is another day with schedules to be followed and responsibilities to adhere to but isn’t that part of life, to go through your day looking for those opportunities and moments to share, grow, experience no matter how mundane it is, no matter how many times you have done it before. Like these morning pages. Today I see such hope, potential with filling up these pages with insight and love.

So as I start my day with such love and excitement I pray that you all do the same. That you all can get past the mundane and see the hope and possibilities that lay before you. This is my wish for you. Explore each opportunity with open eyes of curiosity and love. Try to find something new about it, open your heart and minds and soak in the love of the world. The world does have a lot of love to give. Its way too easy to always look at all of the negativity, to have it fill us with unhappiness and loss. Tomorrow when you wake up try to set intentions to be able to see the love and positivity that is presented to us each and every day. I pray that you all can feel the love. Today I do.”

When I finished writing I thought… where did THAT come from??? And knew I had to share it. And today I did just that, I had a great day and Yes, I finally painted! It was so fun and exciting and expressive. I worked on 3 – 30” x 30” canvas’s. The 1st one I started from the blankness of opportunity, the 2nd one I painted over a piece I had worked on last year that was going nowhere and needed a fresh start and the 3rd I worked on a piece that I would like to finish that I started a long while ago. I will post them below

So here is to the next week of opportunity. May it be filled with love and kindness. xoxo

 

Boy did I miss this! What my drafting table looks like when I finish a painting session. Happy Place!

drafting table

 

Canvas 1 – Layer 1 (of many), warm colors

Canvas 1

 

Canvas 2, reactivating the canvas

Canvas 2

 

Canvas 3 –  I just had to finish this one, more to come…

Canvas 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Resistance

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Last week was Spring Break here and everything got put on hold. The girls and I had a blast. We had fun hiking in North Ga, went to the movies (saw Home… girls liked it, me eh) and explored Stone Mountain. The break was nice, I got to finished a book called “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. The whole premises of the book is about resistance, how clever we are about putting off what we love/want to do most, like paint or write or journal or anything else that will help you grow and be who you want to be. “Any act that rejects immediate gratification in favor of long-term growth, health or integrity.”

It made me think about myself and what does resistance look like for me. At first I didn’t think I had much resistance, I am a driven person and I get stuff done. But when I really thought about what I was getting done and what I wanted to get done were 2 totally different things. I started realizing that yes, I did have resistance and wow, its very clever. My resistance looks like this… I want to paint today, get the creative juices flowing but I have all of these things on my list that I “have” to do, I’ll do them first and then I’ll paint. I work on my list and before you know it the day is over and did I paint, well no, but I got all of these things done. So instead of feeling down that I didn’t paint I felt good that I got all of this stuff done. Was painting on my list? Yes, but not the priority it should be, not part of my daily ritual. So I trick myself into thinking, well I got all of these things done, I was productive so its ok that I didn’t paint. Day after day goes by, new things are put on my list that I “have” to do, excuses arise, well I only have 30 min or 1 hour and its not long enough so I’ll do some things on my to do list. And before you know it all that is left on my list are the things I have been resisting for some odd reason. Why is that? Chris Zydel mentioned that “You dodge or resist a practice not because it doesn’t work but because it works all too well. Doing a practice of any sort, diligently and with devotion WILL change your life. And of course the prospect of that scares the bejesus out of us.” This intrigues me. I know it exists, I am living it right now. Have I painted yet this week? Well no… And I have this yearning, this need to finally get my hands dirty. I have recently wrote to a group of artist that “I want to break my silence, my sabbatical, my rest, my slumber, my hibernation and get some paint on the canvas. “ But have I? Well no, Why?? This whole idea of resistance, where does it come from? Fear. Oh here’s that word again, fear, man that is the route to so many things. What am I afraid of? I’ll tell you, I am afraid that I can no longer paint, that I have used up all of my talent and creativity and everything I do from now on will be shit. Afraid of failure, of letting myself down, of being vulnerable. How crazy is all that? Is it even possible to use up all of your talent or creativity? I really don’t think so but fear does.

So what do I do about it? I acknowledge it, I see it for what its worth and work through it. I show up and do the work anyway. Once I start that fear will disappear and my enjoyment will take over. I know this. OHY! I sound crazy hu. So what I am going to do is this. I am going to tell you all that this week, before my next blog post next week I am going to paint! I am going to show up and get my hands dirty and paint.

So I leave you with this question, what does resistance look like for you?

Aho.